Written by CMSC Executive Director, Elijah Zimmerman (He/They)
Yesterday, I sat with a close friend as she shared her worries about the U.S. election results and the uncertainties ahead. Her fears felt familiar, echoing the anxiety so many are feeling right now. As we talked by video, she showed me the gardens around her home. Pointing to the budding plants she’d coaxed through all kinds of weather, including a recent hurricane, we both appreciated the resilience and beauty of what is growing. A beloved MSC teacher also shared yesterday a picture of a flower growing amidst a street of concrete, noting hope can grow anywhere. These poignant moments are reminders of how we still get up each day, nurture what we can, care for what’s in front of us, and believe in possibilities: we can always tend to what’s within our reach.
In uncertain times, mindful self-compassion becomes a vital tool that is within our reach. It invites us to meet our inner world with both gentleness and strength, especially when it’s filled with fear or doubt. Instead of pushing away uncomfortable emotions, self-compassion encourages us to acknowledge them, and hold them kindly. Much like caring for a garden, this gentle awareness allows us to nurture resilience within ourselves. Rather than ignoring discomfort, we learn to carry it with tenderness, recognizing that these feelings of vulnerability are part of being human. And this strength can make us feel more secure inside.
Cultivating Resilience Through Self-Kindness
One of the core components of self-compassion is self-kindness—learning to treat ourselves with the same warmth and understanding we’d offer a friend. In moments of stress or uncertainty, it’s easy to fall into patterns of self-criticism, thinking we don’t measure up or we should “handle things better.” But this inner harshness only adds to our stress. Self-kindness, on the other hand, allows us to be gentle with ourselves. It reminds us that feeling vulnerable or overwhelmed is a natural part of being human, not a personal failing.
Self-kindness doesn’t mean ignoring our responsibilities or avoiding the hard work of creating change. Instead, it means recognizing our own limitations and caring for ourselves so we can meet life’s challenges with greater resilience. My friend’s garden is a beautiful metaphor for this process. Each plant doesn’t grow perfectly, nor do they all bloom at the same time. Some need extra care, some thrive on their own, and some struggle in certain seasons but grow stronger with time. Our inner world is much the same—we’re always growing and changing, and we need to meet ourselves where we are, with patience and understanding.
When we practice self-kindness, we’re also more likely to extend kindness to others. In times of division and societal stress, it’s easy to feel disconnected from those around us, especially those with different perspectives. And self-compassion softens our inner world, making it easier to approach others with empathy. It reminds us that everyone, even those we disagree with, are navigating their own struggles and uncertainties. This mindset doesn’t mean we ignore differences or avoid standing up for what we believe in. It allows us to hold space for a sense of shared humanity amid our differences.
Embracing Common Humanity
Right now, common humanity may feel hard to grasp, especially when fear, division, and uncertainty seem so prevalent. And mindful self-compassion reminds us that we’re not alone in our struggles. Common humanity—the recognition that we’re all part of a larger, interconnected world—is a central element of self-compassion. It helps us remember that everyone has moments of fear, doubt, and difficulty. When we understand that our experiences are part of a larger human story, we can feel a sense of connection even in times of isolation.
Reflecting on my friend’s garden, I realize that her small act of nurturing and caring for her plants is part of a much larger tapestry. Gardens grow all over the world, tended by people who also hope for a future of growth, possibility, and safety. In this way, her garden wasn’t just a metaphor for personal resilience but also a symbol of our interconnectedness. People all around the globe are wrestling with similar fears and uncertainties. For far too many, they are doing everything they can to survive another day. We may not know exactly what the future holds, but we can trust that our struggles are shared by others, and that we’re part of a larger community of people. Common humanity doesn’t erase our unique experiences or the specific issues that each of us faces, but it helps us see ourselves as part of a broader whole. This perspective can be deeply grounding, especially in times of great change.
Moving Forward with Hope and Compassion
As we move through times of change, uncertainty, and even fear, mindful self-compassion offers us a path forward. Just as my friend tends to her garden each day, we can practice nurturing ourselves in small, consistent ways. This might mean taking a few moments each day to check in with ourselves, to offer a kind word, or to remind ourselves that it’s okay to feel uncertain. It might mean reaching out to others, sharing our fears and hopes, and recognizing that we’re not alone. These small acts of self-compassion build up over time, creating a well of inner strength that we can draw on in moments of need.
A thoughtful gardener also knows that sometimes more is needed alongside nurturing. Fierce self-compassion, like the strength needed to protect a garden from harsh weather or pests, reminds us to stand up for ourselves and our values, especially when circumstances feel overwhelming. When storms come, we may need to take protective action—putting up barriers, pruning back what no longer serves us, or even clearing out space for new growth. In the same way, fierce self-compassion calls us to protect our boundaries, advocate for what we need, and motivate ourselves to keep going when the going gets tough. It’s the side of compassion that doesn’t just soothe, but also empowers us to act in our own best interest or the best interest of our collective and to cultivate resilience in the face of challenges.
Resilience is about meeting fear and uncertainty with courage and kindness, trusting that we have the strength to move forward even when the path is unclear. Mindful self-compassion doesn’t solve all our problems. It can help us approach issues with a heart that’s open and grounded. It reminds us that we’re all part of a larger story, one that’s still unfolding. And just like a garden, even in challenging seasons, we have the capacity to grow, adapt, and believe in the possibilities ahead
