By Mary Marcdante, CMSC Communications Director, MSC Teacher
When life feels like a lot, as it often can in December, it’s easy to slip into urgency, pressure, and the quiet belief that we should somehow be handling it all better. Self-compassion offers us a way to meet these moments with steadiness and care, creating the inner space where equanimity, rest, and joy can return. Below are five simple practices to help you meet this season (or any time in your life) with more kindness and less stress.
1. Give yourself permission to pause.
In the midst of the holiday pace and pressure, it can be surprisingly hard to stop—even for a moment. A self-compassionate pause doesn’t require silence, perfection, or long stretches of time; it simply asks you to recognize when you’re running on empty and offer yourself a breath. This small act interrupts the cycle of urgency and gives your nervous system a chance to settle. Joy often begins in these small, spacious moments.
See if you can take a long, conscious inhale through your nose right now, and then let out a slightly longer exhale, turning up the corners of your mouth in a warm smile and letting your shoulders drop. Now try repeating that two more times—or simply pause for a second or two right now—and then keep reading. Sometimes all it takes to give yourself permission to pause is saying yes to what is in front of you.
2. Notice where you are in the Circles of Learning.
The MSC Course teaches that we move through three natural learning zones: Safety, Challenge, and Overwhelm. Picture them as circles nesting within one another—Safety (calm, comfortable) at the center, Challenge (curious, motivated) in the middle, and Overwhelm (tense, exhausted) on the outer ring. Growth happens in Challenge, where we’re stretched and supported; it’s hard to learn—or enjoy life—when we slip into overwhelm. If you notice yourself in that outer zone, gently guide yourself back toward Safety for a pause of comfort and rest until you feel ready to return to Challenge.
During busy seasons, like these holidays, many of us drift into overwhelm and stay there longer than we realize—only to wonder why we get the flu in January. When you sense that feeling of “too much,” turn to the quintessential self-compassion question, “What do I need?” or more specifically, “What do I need to feel safe right now?” Simple grounding practices can help: feeling your feet on the floor, taking a few long, slow breaths, naming what you’re experiencing and responding to yourself with kindness rather than criticism—“Oh, this is overwhelm. May I be kind to myself.”
3. Tend to your body with warmth and respect.
The body often signals overload before the mind realizes what’s happening. ’Tis the season is called the “holidaze” for a reason. You can help support your body and regulate your nervous system by placing a hand on your heart or belly, relaxing your shoulders, or sitting down for one steady breath. Rather than treating the body as something to push through the season, self-compassion invites us to treat it as an ally with real wisdom that allows us to feel the full range of emotions, not just pain and suffering, but joy, love, and peace too. When the body softens, the mind often follows. Thank your body for all that it allows you to experience.
4. Remember you’re not the only one feeling this way.
Common humanity can be a profound antidote to holiday pressure. Stress, grief, joy, tenderness, and the sense of “too much” are shared experiences—felt by people in kitchens, hospitals, classrooms, airports, and quiet living rooms around the world. When we pause to remember that others feel this overwhelm too, the sense of isolation softens. And when we take the chance to share our vulnerabilities with people we trust, that opening often makes room for patience, perspective, and connection.
5. Make space for moments of gratitude and joy.
Joy is not something I've found we can force; it’s something that waits to be allowed. Gratitude can help create the inner conditions where joy naturally arises—not in a performative way, but in small, honest acknowledgments of what is steady or supportive. A warm mug between your hands, the kindness of a friend, the breath that’s been with you all day—these often-overlooked moments help rebalance the heart. Even brief gratitude can reconnect us with what matters to us when the world feels loud and demanding.
A Meditation to Support You
To accompany these reflections, we’re sharing a new guided practice we created this year: Self-Compassion for Overwhelm: Space in the Midst of Too Much, led by Lisa Baylis. This meditation gently weaves equanimity, common humanity, gratitude, and the Compassionate Friend MSC practice—offering a spacious way to hold the “too much” moments of the season (or any time in your life). It’s an invitation to settle, breathe, and reconnect with the steady, wise, caring presence within you. We hope it serves as a companion whenever you need support.
This meditation was inspired by a CMSC community member whose generosity and compassion reflect the very qualities at the heart of this practice—equanimity, common humanity, and gratitude. We’re grateful to share it with you in their honor.
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If Giving Back Tuesday and this season of generosity inspire you to support CMSC’s mission of keeping self-compassion accessible to all, your gift—of any size—is deeply appreciated and helps us continue offering free resources like Circles of Practice, meditations, and community programs. Thank you for the ways you give, wherever and however you do. And may you offer that same gift of care to yourself.
